Hey hey! I've been emailing somebody from the dating site! Not a bald eagle trying to dig his worm into my ear either! Someone who actually sounds normal - well, ish. His picture was okay, and was taken at Wembley too so he's into his football which is cool as I am too. I think he may have got the wrong idea a bit though as I bought a sander a couple of days ago and now he seems to think that I'm using the phrase " being good with a power tool" as some sort of euphenism!

He hasn't actually asked to meet me yet but has been emailing me every day. I think I need to lose about 2 stone and invest in one of those body stocking things that hold it all in like a corset before I agree to that. (How do you go to the loo in those anyway?).

I am digressing somewhat but have you heard of a SHEWEE, thinking about going to the loo? It's an invention that allows a woman to wee standing up. I won't try to explain it, just go google! The whole idea of it just cracks me up ... it would almost be worth it for the shock value of watching people look at you suddenly whip this thing out and merrily wee in a bush or whatever. The bit that makes me laugh the most is the list of people they deem it suitable for ... it includes GLIDERS? Gliders?????? So whilst you're up there carefree and floating around in the clear blue sky you're suddenly going to pull a wee funnel out of your ... what? Out of your what? Presumably you don't take a handbag gliding. And then you're going to faff around whilst being 3000 feet in the air pulling your underwear to the side so you can have a WEE? No, surely not. Not to mention some poor unsuspecting person nervously clad in a body stocking on their way to their first ever blind date with a tall dark handsome football loving man suddenly getting rained on from up above .....

Have a great day everyone ... (actually nobody's reading this last bit are they, because they've all rushed off to google shewee and now they're laughing their heads off).